Earlier tonight – well, last night because you’re reading this in the morning – I took my neighbor to pick up his Tesla Model Y that I wrote about earlier, the one where the emergency door release shattered a window. While I was there, I noticed a few Cybertrucks in the lot, which happens to be the first production Cybertrucks I’ve seen in the wild. I’ve seen the prototype one in person, but seeing the actual, production models was interesting. For a size comparison, I parked my Nissan Pao next to one and took some pictures. The thing is big. And kind of clunky. And while I get the appeal, I think, I also get the eye-rolling. But, whatever, this is still a vehicle that everyone likes to talk about so who am I to ruin anyone’s fun?
I think the most remarkable part of the Cybertruck is that windshield wiper. It’s massive. It’s probably 75% of my height, and probably 125% of my net worth. If I installed it on my Pao, it would probably flip the car over if I turned it on.
Is it bigger than most conventional trucks? Modern trucks are generally pretty huge, after all. But most lack such large expanses of unadorned, unbroken, flat metal, and I think that gives an illusion of mass that is unique to the Cybertruck.
The size differences between Pao and Cybertruck are pretty evident from this rear view. The Cybertruck feels long enough that, were I to start at the tailgate in my Pao and attempt to drive to the front, I’d probably have to shift to second gear somewhere around the A-pillar.
And yet, I’d like to point out, the Pao, with its drop-down tailgate like the Cybertruck, is also capable of truck-like acts, even beyond, say, eight bags of mulch. Look:
I’m glad the Cybertruck exists; I think cars that are radically different from the norm are a good thing, regardless of whether I like them or not. And, like it or not, the Cybertruck does represent a pretty radical departure from the norm, so I salute it.
A bit of forced perspective makes my Pao look a lot less small, but I assure you, compared to the Cybertruck, it is. I mean, compared to the average old Buick it is small, as it is to most things on the road, and that includes some horses.
It’s such a polarizing vehicle, the Cybertruck. That’s part of what makes it so interesting. My Pao is sort of a polarizing machine, too, in the sense that there’s people who love it and people who wouldn’t be caught dead in it. But the general reaction when people see it is one of friendliness, where it’s seen as an amusing novelty or even almost how people might react to an otter trotting by.
The Cybertruck isn’t like that; it has its incredibly devoted fans, as well as knee-jerk foes, but it’s sort of inherently confrontational. That’s not really an image I want to just project out into the world at random, firehosing confrontational energy out william-nilliam, but, as is our policy here, I refuse to yuck anyone’s yum.
So, Cybertruck fans, enjoy. Enjoy your huge, sharp-edged, faintly absurd truck. Lots of great cars are absurd, after all.